protegge | inventory ( balance )

☆ his gun

☆ his crossbow

☆ Immovable Rod (Gacha Reward)

This rod is a flat iron bar with a small button on one end. When the button is pushed (a move action), the rod does not move from where it is, even if staying in place defies gravity. Thus, the owner can lift or place the rod wherever he wishes, push the button, and let go. Several immovable rods can even make a ladder when used together (although only two are needed). An immovable rod can support up to 8,000 pounds before falling to the ground. If a creature pushes against an immovable rod, it must make a DC 30 Strength check to move the rod up to 10 feet in a single round.

☆ small leatherbound journal containing his poetry (see below)

☆ an awful sweater; seed pouches for heather, phlox, and orange lily; a pin depicting a string of heather halfway encircling a cluster of phlox, while the blossom of an orange Peruvian lily is centered inside; and a handmade book (from Sayori)

☆ a tinfoil beanie (from Phoenix)

☆ a potted aloe plant and golden gun omamori, inscribed with "true aim" (from Mia)

☆ samurai crop top pajamas, handmade Sayori plush, handmade moon bracelet (part of a set), bullet-shaped "protection from bad luck" omamori, and a very sweet card (from Maya)

☆ Sayori merch hat and a replica of his canon outfit (from Sans)

☆ gun cleaning kit and gun gag gift (from Shinjiro)

☆ a godawful hat and a very nice formal blazer (from Michael)

☆ a satchel of gardening tools (from Lion)

☆ a skirt and matching shirts with Sayori — Mista gets the bacon (from Alex)

Threaded | Flat

Once upon a time there was a man
who lived on the coast
until someone stole it from him.

There was a man who hummed jazz
under his breath
until his lips went cold, but kept moving.

A man who rolled up his sleeves,
reached elbows-deep into piles of trash,
and pulled out mean half-dead kittens.

Who did bad things
So that he could do the right thing
Once every ten times.

I never had a father,
but once upon a time
I saw my father's body
cold and white
on the steps of the Coliseum.

I have a sword.
Swords aren't for people like me.
Swords are for men hundreds of years ago
who conquer countries
who protect queens
who save the day.

I learned how to make fire dance on the edge of my sword
and it felt a little more like mine.
But really, I knew
it was never meant to be my sword
and I was never meant to be here.

Edited 2019-12-11 05:11 (UTC)

A bunch of nuns taught me about the Devil once.
They told me he was the enemy of God
and He threw the Devil down into the pits of Hell
so that all of His children would be safe.

(God goes by He
and the Devil goes by he.
This makes a difference.
That's what they told me.)

The nuns told me what the Devil looked like:
tall and broad with hooves like a goat's
and a forked tail
and fire in his eyes.

They didn't tell me
about what he'd do
long before we saw him
how badly he didn't want to be seen
the trail of blood
and the guts he'd leave behind.

The skipping of time like a record
like the needle scratching down the back of my neck
and out through the stomach.

They didn't tell me about the way it would sound when the Devil found me,
or about the way it would feel,
or about the fact that even God couldn't stop him in time.

Even God couldn't stop him in time.

I remember being a kid,
chasing birds down the sidewalk and laughing
like an asshole
as they take to the sky in a panic,
black wings flapping against a cloudless blue sky.

I know you don't remember things like that.

I remember school
and being really, really bad at it,
every time I fell asleep on the desk.
One time I fell on the floor
and snorted myself awake
and I got called a pig for the rest of the year.

I know you don't remember things like that.

I remember the first time we met.
A lot of awful things had happened.
I had been a little awful.
Maybe I'd been a lot awful.
And I found you sitting at a table stuffing your face,
and you laughed at my stupid jokes,
and the world was a little brighter
because you made me smile.
Because I made you smile.

I know you remember that.

But I don't love you because you make me smile,
or because I make you smile.
Even though I love that you make me smile,
and that I make you smile.
Even though I love your smile
and the way my face hurts when I'm around you for too long.

I love you because of how real you are
and how real I feel when I'm around you.
How I can kind of see the future
and tell you're gonna look at me when you read that,
all doubtful, like no way,
you're not real.
Except sometimes it feels like you're realer than I am.
Whether you're bright or dark, you're real.

I can't feel your heart right now.
But I can feel your heart right now,
all the dips and peaks,
lights and shadows.
There's a lot of dark in you,
but I like that, too.

We can be shadows together, sometimes, if you want.
We can be lights together, the rest of the time.

I remember your hand in mine a hundred times.
I can kind of see the future,
your hand in mine another hundred thousand times.

Edited 2019-12-16 23:18 (UTC)

There are different rules in every world.
Rules like—
It's bad to kill people.
It's bad to lie.
It's bad to hurt others for any reason.

Except the thing is,
in any world,
those rules get broken.

People get desperate,
make mistakes,
sometimes on purpose,
and get punished
or sometimes they don't.

People do crazy things
when they're
backed to the edge of a cliff
cold steel to the forehead
or bleeding out
or hurting, invisibly.

I don't know every way there is to suffer.
I don't know every way there is to forgive.
I haven't lived in every world.
I've only ever lived in mine,
and now in this one.

This world is new.
If you want,
you can be new here, too.

Edited 2019-12-29 03:24 (UTC)

inventory ( balance )

↳ unt 1

↳ unt 2

↳ X/X TIME. (wip)

↳ shadows

↳ new world