protegge | ic inbox ( balance )

[This is a good part of the Oath. But it's also a very bad part of the Oath, because he's just worrying her when really he's fine.]

[The irony is lost on him, frankly.]

im ok
just pissed off at alex

[So, you know, par for the course for everyone right now.]

[Let's be fair here. She is also worried about many other people involved in this stupid mess. The worry is spread around!]

oh
yeah im kinda upset he didnt say something
but im probably gonna talk to him too

hes being a jackass
acting like its his fault or sth
i mean i get it but

i dunno

[Some silence. His feelings are a snarled ball of dirty yarn and lint.]

he shoulda told you
im pissed at all of em
it shouldnt have gone down like this when were sposed to be a team

[Outright anger is still difficult for her to muster—she's more hurt than anything at finding out about it this way—but there is a definite, subtle undercurrent of frustration.]

yeah...
its probably hard for him to talk about but

[She doesn't finish the sentence, not really knowing how to articulate the feeling of trying harder to be honest with her feelings and not having that returned in kind.]

i thought we all got a lot better at being a team bc of wonderland but maybe not?

[Later he'll probably be proud of her for not outright stifling it. Right now he's just. Tired. Beginning to be frustrated on her behalf, but mostly tired.]

maybe not

i dunno maybe thats bad to say but thats how it feels
plenty of shits hard to talk about
this is just

i dunno how to explain it but keeping shit like this hidden is just
dangerous

i think i get it
i had no idea ogata would do something like that
hes always been nice to me

[Nice for Ogata, anyway, but that's apparently still a pretty high bar to clear?]

and it kinda like throws off the whole team dynamic! if ppl have sth like this and they act weird around each other but no one knows why

yeah
thats exactly what i mean

[Except he hasn't trusted Ogata from the start, but that's . . . it's different, he knows, for someone like Sayori or Alex, fucked as their lives have been, and someone like him. The neck-prickling off-sense is grown, not made.]

everybodys entitled to some secrets
secrets from everybody yknow like
not everybody has to know everybody elses skeletons
but this is too much
somebody else coulda died in the meantime while they werent talking
and why werent they talking idek that part except for alex
i know why alex wasnt talking
bc hes used to having to fight the literal whole world on his own

im sick of that shit sayori i cant lie
he told me it was his fault ogata killed him bc he hit ogata
thats when

you know

thats when you felt that

[There's a small pause, a twinge of general unpleasantness in the delay before her next message as she absorbs that.]

thats really messed up

[Maybe she could say more about that, but. That kind of says it all.]

yeah
it is

[All of this just feels miserable. He wants to stop talking to Alex and just go find her. Or go hide in the quad for a while.]

i wish i could help him more
but i cant
i cant stop him thinking that

thats kinda how i always feel about alex

[And, you know, everyone else she loves. But Alex is the sticking point of the moment, and his situation is exceptionally hopeless even for a place filled with people from ruined worlds.]

[A long . . . long pause. There's weird echoing hopelessness across the Oath.]

yeah

so what do we do?

im gonna talk to him too
idk if i can get through to him either but hes my friend so im going to try!

[Despite the hopelessness and doubt, a familiar spark of protective conviction surges across their connection.]

and we can hang out afterwards if u want!

[. . . Hm.]

[In turn, something quiet and grateful. He's soothed, for now, just like that.]

thanks
if you feel up to it
ill be ok tho even if not

[There's already no world where she wouldn't go see him, but especially after that reaction.]

hey i told u id stay over whenever u want! im always up to hanging out w you ♡

i know
i just mean
take care of yourself too

its important to me

[Really important.]

[God. Just go right for the kill, it's fine. It feels like her heart's being squeezed.]

i will i promise
seeing u would make me feel better too

[A pause. Typing. Typing...]

anyway i gotta talk to alex but ily and ill find u afterwards ok?

[It takes him a second.]

[In part it's because he can feel her nerves. They confuse him, so that's what he's focused on when her response finally comes in. She has to go talk to Alex, okay, maybe that's why she's got that buzzing along with the other stuff, and she wants to come see him afterwards, and—]

[And, wait.]

[Wait. Wait.]

[From her side it must be like a bomb going off, a big bang but everything that comes out of it is soft, flower petals and warm sun lying in the grass and fingers laced together loose and easy. His chest is tight and he kind of wants to cry and he kind of wants to tell her to forget Alex because all of a sudden he hates that she isn't right here with him.]

[When he responds, there's no hesitation.]

ok
love you

[Their entire relationship has been built on questionable timing, so this is par for the course, really.

Even as she starts to move around her quarters, pacing as she contacts Alex, there's a similar urge to go find Mista in response to—the best reaction she could have hoped for, something so joyful and perfect. She stops pacing to read his returning message, and—

The squeeze in her chest verges on painful, the flash and warmth of sunlight verging on too bright and too warm, straddling the edge of being too much to hold, too much to stuff into the folder that is sayori.chr. But it settles into a summer day, and she basks in it as she types one more quick response.]

♡♡♡♡♡♡

[Mista can tell it's a rollercoaster of a conversation. Despite the noticeable spikes of emotion, her approach is a familiar one as she tries to be a calming presence for Alex. And occasionally, there's a trickle of satisfaction that seems to indicate it might be working.

It's clear when she's done, too, because when she leaves Alex's room she begins taking the quickest route to Mista's location. And...speeds up to a jog as soon as she can get away with it. If it involves going down stairs, she Feather Falls down them in one great leap.

She looks exhausted when she shows up, but she wears a genuine smile nonetheless.]

[He's in his room when he feels her leave the heavy, fraught conversation. As soon as he does, he crosses over to open the door and leaves it that way for her, flopping back down on the bed with his hands over his eyes. Breathe in, breathe out. He's calmer the closer she gets.]

[By the time she shows up in the doorway, he's pulled his arm away and cracked half a grin.]

Hey.

[God. Even though she feels wrung out like an old towel, what's left inside her still flutters as he greets her.

She steps inside and closes the door behind her clumsily—it takes a couple tries, on account of the fact that her eyes are glued to him while she's doing it and she's clearly very distracted.] Hi there.

[There's a joyful weightlessness to the way she hops on over to the bed. And, once again, does not ask permission at all before taking over the empty space that remains in it. She's sitting up, but she leans on one hand like that could be a temporary affair should Mista be amenable to it.]

[There's an echoing ripple of good-natured amusement as she falls over herself a little. From looking at him. Even despite all of this. I love her, he thinks, and wonders if she can feel it. Probably.]

[The dip of her weight on the mattress makes him smile, too. He unfolds his arm and pats the bed.]

C'mon. I know you're tired.

[Bond. Taps temple. Time to snuggle.]

[The corners of her expression soften, and she gratefully sinks down into the (perfectly Sayori-shaped, she thinks) space left under his arm. She wiggles in close and slips an arm over his stomach, and she already feels so much better just being here with him.

Especially since. Well.]

Sorry, I didn't mean to say that and then run, ahaha. I just—

[She doesn't sound very sorry, actually, but it seems polite to apologise for her bad timing?] You were being super sweet. I felt like I was gonna die if I held it in!

[He curls towards her like he's been waiting for her the whole time — which isn't so inaccurate. Halfway facing her, a little more of the tension in his whole body fades.]

[There's a lot he wants to say. Like about how he wasn't really being sweet, he just cares about her, like he said. About how it's okay, because feelings are weird and unpredictable a lot of the time (most of the time) and it felt like the right time to him. About how he's glad she said it — and he is.]

[But he gets caught up with just looking at her, mystified by the fact that he gets to be here holding her at all. It's that, and the emotional exhaustion, that fully kills his filter. His voice is genuinely awed when he speaks.]

Your eyes are so . . . pretty. [Girl . . . beautiful. Wow.]

[The silence preceding that statement would be worrying if not for the fact that his emotional pulse is still so sedate. As it is, she just returns his gaze wonderingly, intent and slightly curious. She can tell that she hasn't disturbed the calm, but she can't read his mind.

Those pretty eyes go a little wide, a fraction of a second passing before a giggle escapes her slightly parted lips. Her face predictably begins to heat.] That's—

[And the way he says it, so soft and sincere. No one's ever said anything like that to her before. She really might die.] That's way too romantic!

ic inbox ( balance )

i kno.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

later

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)